Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Around Here// He's Here// And Even the Wind Blows Differntly Now...

Obviously I haven't been around for the last two weeks. In my last post it was Danny's 30th birthday, and we were planning to celebrate, but also wondering if we were going to have a surprise guest at the party. Indeed... Danny's birthday celebration was spent in labor and delivery. He didn't get to blow out any candles on a cake, but I'd say it was a pretty memorable day, nevertheless. Our sweet little boy, Maxwell Andrew Johnson was born April 23rd 2013 at 5:37 AM, just a few hours shy or sharing a birthday with his daddy. Now they each have their own special day, and next year there will certainly be cake and ice cream.

We are beyond in love with our little boy! He is such a sweet special boy and our lives are forever changed for the better because of our beautiful five pound miracle. I just can't even articulate the way I feel about being a mommy to little Max. This is ETERNAL LOVE.

I've taken quite a few photos and tried to maintain a good record of my thoughts over the last two weeks, but photoshoots and blogging have honestly been quite low on our priority list. Little Max has had a rough start, and we have spent most of our time just working to keep him here and healthy. We had been sent home after the standard two days in the hospital, because he had squeaked by on all on the standards, but he just wasn't ready to thrive on his own, and should have been kept in NICU. We spent the better part of last week back in the hospital, being readmitted late Monday night with hypothermia and severe jaundice. He required bili-lights to rid his body of a toxic level of jaundice and heat lamps to maintain his temperature . He wasn't eating or breathing well on his own, and required a feeding tube and oxygen to sustain his life. We are home again and the fight continues while he struggles to learn how to eat on his own and his body continues to catch up developmentally.

Before leaving one of the young nurses said how nice it must have been to have him early and not have to be pregnant  an extra month. Actually, no. I would much rather have been uncomfortable and pregnant than to go through what we have been through over the last two weeks. It has been the hardest thing I've ever experienced. Having your child taken from your arms and watching him struggle for his life... I just can't really put into words what that felt like. Being able to take him home again, hold him in my arms, and rock him to sleep... what a truly sublime joy this has been.

I stood outside the other morning looking at our beautiful garden of tulips, feeling a slight breeze in the air and soaking it all in. In that moment I realized that everything is different now. The colors are more vibrant, the world is simpler yet so much more complex, and even the wind blows differntly now... But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am just so grateful to have our little Max here, happy, and working on getting healthy. He is such a sweet and special little boy. He is a fighter. He is strong. He makes me so proud. I am so grateful for the prayers and generous offerings of love and kindness we have received during this time.

My energy and time is limited right now, and I'm not sure how long it will take before I am up to posting again, but when things settle down a bit you can count on pictures, pages, and pieces of our story... of Max's story. It's a beautiful one so far.

PS: Sorry no pictures this time. I just haven't had time to upload them. You can see a few Instagram snapshots here if you like;)



  1. It was so good to chat with you earlier today, LJ! I can only imagine how new and different and lovely things are now that lil' man is home with you, Danny and Dolly-Bear. I'm sure that calling the past weeks "difficult" doesn't even come close to how draining and emotional they've been, but I want you to know how very impressed I am by your strength and courage during these difficult days. Thanks for teaching your big sis such a beautiful lesson! :)

    Your determination and love for Max is such a testimony of your mother-love for Max and I am sure he can feel how very much you and Danny adore him. You are all in our prayers every single day and I can hardly wait 'til I get to come out for a visit next week. John sure wishes he could come too!

    Love you!!!

  2. Wow, I repeated "Max" a lot in one sentence there. :) Can you tell lil' man is on my mind? Love ya!!

  3. So glad you're all home now. I've been checking your blog for updates wondering how you are all doing! That little Max sure is a darling!

  4. Hi, wow CONGRATULATIONS!!! Welcome Max! He's so cute! Now that he's here, things will settle down a bit…. Long life to your family and looking forward to cool updates on your blog.
    Cheers from France,

  5. So, SO happy for you guys!!! Can't wait to meet this sweet little guy who shares his bday with OUR oldest and firstborn son! We've been praying for your little man as we've gotten news of his struggles and hospital stays. Please know that we are thinking of you often. There is NOTHING more precious than a brand new baby, fresh from heaven. Sending hugs and lots of love your way!