"The struggle is part of the story." I saw that quote on Pinterest the other day and it has really resonated with me. Sometimes in scrapbooking and blogging it's easy to edit out the messy bits, and only show the happily ever after moments... but those don't mean as much without the story behind them.
I've been silent about some things for a while, and like being stuck inside during this long cold winter, you can only keep things in for so long before they just have to get out. The cold weather and my ongoing battle with a weakened immune system have really been wearing on me. I haven't talked openly about my struggles with chronic illness for some time... I was meanly accused of making it all up for attention. Nothing could have been more embarrassing, hurtful, or false.
I've spent the last several years trying to adapt to a body that doesn't allow me to do as much as I would like. A body that catches every cold and virus it comes in contact with. A body that doesn't digest food properly, and struggles to absorb nutrients. A body that hurts most of the time. I'm not trying to complain or seeking anyones attention or pity, just speaking up about a part of my life that is real and challenging.
Given all that I've gone through over the last several years, this pregnancy has truly been a miracle, and I've been amazed with all that my body has been capable of doing. I'm not one of those girls who can do everything; I have a lot of limitations, and that can be discouraging. Thinking about all the changes that are ahead can be really scary as I wonder how I will ever manage to do it all. I look to my sweet mother for assurance that things will be okay. She raised five great kids, even with limited physical abilities. Her ability to love and nurture was never diminished by any physical weakness. I'm working hard to take good care of myself and my little Max as we prepare for his arrival in May. Right now that means the floors are a bit dingy, the windows need washing, and the dishes and laundry wait their turn until I have the energy to get to them.
There aren't adequate words to express how grateful I am for the miracle of this little boy, and for a body that is working hard to carry him. I'm anxiously looking forward to getting over the ongoing colds and viruses that I've been fighting. I'm longing for the sunshine and rejuvination that Spring always brings. Nevertheless, I am trying to embrace this time for what it is, listening to my body, and slowing down--even though it feels like a snail's pace.
I think these are important parts of our story, and overlooking them would deny the sacrifices, miracles, and blessings of this special time in our lives.