With so many beautiful blessings in my life, I almost feel guilty admitting this, but recently life has held a few disappointments. Nothing earth shattering, but a bit frustrating nevertheless.
Among the biggest was finding out that the home we'd been waiting to close on for over 8 months was no longer within our affordable budget. Interest rates went up as the bank sat on the home. They came back asking for $40,000-$60,000 more than our original accepted offer. Needless to say, it was disappointing. I had pictured so much for our little family in that home... The beautiful nursery I'd rock Max to sleep in. The spacious scrapbook room I would have to work in. Lovely walks to the neighborhood park. The space to decorate for the holidays. The yard for Max and Dolly to run around in. The outdoor parties we would hold on the deck.
We are now looking for something smaller and more temporary--not to mention, more affordable. That also means a lot less space, a smaller yard, and a lot more compromises.
In our current location, we have a lot of people coming and going in front of the house day and night. Dolly's doggie anxiety makes this a bit tricky because she is so nervous about the noise. Without fail, every time I lay Max down for a nap, something spooks Dolly, she barks, he wakes up crying, and I want to pull my hair out. Without nap time, the dishes and laundry don't get done, showers are unheard of, and I am left feeling unproductive and exhausted.
That's just life right now. I know it won't always be like this, but I keep hoping something will work out with a home soon. Even still, I can't help but think I'm going to miss this place when we finally do move on. So many wonderful memories have been made here. It's where Danny and I started our lives together. It's where Dolly has stayed by my side day and night for over three years. It's where we brought our sweet Max home from the hospital, twice. It's home. Small. Disorganized. Cluttered. Not at all where I would have chosen, but a happy place nonetheless. It's exactly where we were supposed to be.
The photo above. Pretty right? The soft golden light and delicate branches... who would've guessed it's just the overgrown weeds along the side of the house? I guess it just reminds me to look for the beauty in everything. There is beauty in waiting. There is beauty in imperfection. There's even beauty in weed patches.
L
Oh, goodness. I am sorry to hear about the house, hon. I know how much you'd been looking forward to it. I wish things were different for you all!
ReplyDeleteI needed this particular blog entry today, luv. Thank you. I've been feeling much the same of late - overwhelmed and frustrated and wishing lots were different. Even so, in the midst of the weeds, there is so much to be thankful for. When I stop to consider all of the blessings I do have, I'm humbled at the grace and goodness of my Heavenly Father. Like Elder Holland's recent talk, I need to remember to find joy in the journey. Thanks for helping me to do this. Love you!